The answer is probably no since only .5%- 5% of the population is actually diagnosed with Narcissist Personality Disorder, but many people do exhibit narcissist-like behaviour. This behaviour can be very challenging in relationships and has a negative impact on your health and wellbeing.
Relationships are complex and require a delicate balance of emotional intelligence, trust, and mutual respect. However, when one partner exhibits narcissistic traits, maintaining this balance becomes significantly more challenging and can hinder genuine intimacy and connection in a relationship.
First what does narcissism look like?
Here are some traits associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
Sense of self-importance
Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success
Entitled
Can only be around people who are important or special
Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
Arrogant
Lack empathy
Must be admired
Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them
According to Certified Gottman Therapist Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, this is how narcissistic behaviours show up in a relationship:
Passive aggressive behaviours
Shut down and stonewalling
Withholding sex
Gaslighting
Anger
High conflict
Boundary crossing
Persistent and ongoing flooding
Unwilling to apologize or take responsibility
The role of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions and those of others, is a cornerstone of healthy relationships. It fosters empathy, effective communication, and conflict resolution. However, in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits, these crucial aspects are undermined.
Lack of emotional intelligence blocks the ability to form deep, meaningful connections. Their focus on self-interest and disregard for their partner’s emotional needs leads to a breakdown in communication and trust. This emotional disconnect can cause significant distress for their partner.
It can be hard to change the relationship dynamics when narcissistic behaviours are present. Usually these behaviours started early in life and have become part of their personality. Social media reinforces such behaviour where it is considered socially acceptable. Changing the behaviour requires a willingness to be vulnerable without defensiveness and to show empathy towards their partner.
Strategies for dealing with narcissistic behaviour
Establish boundaries: It is important to set boundaries to protect ourselves. We are setting clear limits about what we will accept versus trying to change another person’s behaviour.
Support and self-care: Having a strong social support system can be helpful. Meaningful connections with friends and family are important to maintain.
Professional help: Seeking out help from a therapist is brave and can be a good step towards being healthy and protecting your well being.
Finally If both partners are invested in working on the relationship there are Gottman interventions that are effective. Because narcissistic behaviours are so challenging, they will likely need a Gottman trained therapist to work with them.